With your second child, the guilt worsens as all that guilt that you have with your first child is doubled PLUS you have the guilt of feeling like your second child is missing out on the opportunities that you gave the first!
You only have to look at our photo files. With Anna, we have numerous folders, each filled with 50+ photos, labelled 'Anna, aged 1 week ', 'Anna, aged 2 weeks', 'Anna, aged 1 month', 'Anna, aged 2 months' etc. We even have folders within folders as the folders labelled months 1-6 get filed under 'Anna, under 6 months old' etc. The computer tells me that we have over 4000 photos of just Anna. Ellie has just 2 folders. 'Ellie 1st year' and currently 'Ellie 2nd year'. The current tally is about 200 photos!
The same can be said about this blogging malarkey! Anna had a blog from approx. 6 months old, regularly updated weekly. In years to come, she will be able to read about her first words, her first trip on a train and her first walk in shoes (Yes, I really did blog everything!'. Poor Miss Ellie will read what little I have blogged about her and go 'Is that it'? I feel I need to explain...
Dearest Ellie,
I am so sorry that it may appear that you didn't do as much as Anna when a toddler or that your mother couldn't be bothered to write about it. I can promise you that you did get to do wonderful things and go on train rides to Liverpool, play on the beach and go on lovely holidays. In fact, in the 20 months that you have been here, you have been to 4 festivals, stayed in several hotels, been to Alton Towers, Thomas Land and even Disneyland (which you adored and now consider Mickey to be a hero). You have been on several holidays including the Cotswolds, Disneyland, Cornwall and the Lake District and have been on the beach at Formby. You even have a passport and have flown to France and wowed everyone in Paris airport with your determination to wheel the princess suitcase through the entire terminal. We did celebrate your first birthday with a huge party (with Monkey cake lovingly made by Grandma Lynn) and you have also been to numerous other birthday parties including your cousins, Jess and Isla's and Goo-goos 80th. There have also been other parties such as Auntie Val and Uncle George's Wedding Anniversary.
The problem lies in the fact that time seems to be so hectic! Ensuring 2 children have managed to get out of the house and into the car in one piece is like completing some sort of test. Making sure that we have the change bag (containing spare nappies, spare clothes, baby wipes, nappy bags, hand gel, drink, snacks, sun cream, hat), handbag, coats and any tickets is a challenge. Add to that, we have Anna who is trying to tell me the latest books published by favourite authors or the story which she plans to write next or the One Direction song which is her current favourite or the fact that she thinks her favourite Teddy may be secretly planning to run away and join the circus (with me thinking 'Can I join him?'). We also have you, Miss Ellie, who is pointing to your trike and insisting that we go via that mode of transport rather than the car. I then say "No Ellie, we have to go by car" to which you shake your head determinedly and climb on the said trike! I try to explain that our destination is 50 miles away and it may take rather along time on trike but you don't seem to be listening! We then have the body as rigid as a wooden plank as I try to wrestle you in the car whilst you cling to the chosen toy/object that you have decided will accompany you on this trip (Today was a rucksack with a tub of unopened toothpaste inside... always best to be prepared!).
Life seems to go so fast! I spend my days playing with you, cooking, cleaning or taking you to baby groups and my evenings are spent ironing (the washing basket never seems to get any less) or paperwork. That makes it sound like my life with you is incredibly boring! I can assure you it isn't! We make household chores fun (normally dancing to our Jo Jingles CD or you following me around with your toy hoover) and there is ALWAYS time for playing, going to the park, going to Jo Jingles, Tattenhall Toddlers or meeting friends EVERY single day.
I can also promise that everyone adores you just as much as they do Anna and that you fill every day with such happiness. In fact, I thought that I was going to have to run away from a group of Indian women who fell in love with you in Disneyland and who said that you looked like baby doll and could they shake your hand and have their photo taken with you (You were causing more of a stir than Tigger who was stood just outside the cafe!!).
I will never make you a promise that I can't keep so I cannot promise but I am going to try very hard to write this blog more frequently. However, they are just words and I hope I can sleep easy knowing that, even if this blog isn't written like it should be, we are still filling your lives (you and Anna equally) with laughter, fun and numerous buckets full of love!
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